Got guests coming over and already spiraling about the state of your home, your cooking, your everything? Take a deep breath. You’ve got this. And with a few sneaky-good tricks, you’re about to host like a total legend—without breaking a sweat or losing your mind.

1. Kick Things Off with a Snack or Sip
First impressions matter. So instead of scrambling to finish the chicken while your guests awkwardly hover by the fridge, hand them something—anything—the moment they walk in. Think: a cute little cheese board, some olives you found in the back of the fridge (but fancy now they’re glistening a ramekin), or even a piece of chocolate from your pantry served with confidence. 

Feeling bold? Go full mixologist with a house cocktail. A martini never disappoints. Bonus points if you name it something ridiculous, like “Please Leave by 10” or “Just Here for the Snacks.”

2. Set Out Your Serving Dishes Before the Chaos
Let’s be real: Rooting through your cabinets for the right bowl while your sauce is boiling over is not the vibe. So do your future self a favor and lay out every serving platter, bowl, and weird little spoon ahead of time.

You’ll look wildly organized, your table will feel intentionally full, and when it’s go time, you just scoop and serve like a total pro. Plus, now you know whether you're missing a dish and can pivot to that backup bunny platter with zero shame.

3. The Centerpiece That Says, “I’ve Got My Life Together”
Centerpieces can be anything—flowers, candles, a random conversation-starter you picked up at a flea market. Now plop it right in the middle of the table so it feels like a thing.

Just don’t go too tall or your guests will be bobbing and weaving to make eye contact all night. Keep it cute, keep it low, and bonus points if it sparks conversation (yes, even if it’s a bowling trophy…especially if it’s a bowling trophy).

4. Light It Up, Baby
If you want your dinner party to go from “nice” to “please invite me back,” the secret is candlelight. Candles make everything look intentional, cozy, and just a little bit magical.

Skip the scented ones—we want to smell dinner, not a vanilla-frosted lumberjack—and go for unscented tapers or a bunch of tea lights. Scatter them around the table and bam, you’re now hosting an “intimate, elevated evening” instead of “pasta night with Carol and Jim.” Pro Tip: Keep the flames away from dried flowers or paper items. Nobody wants firemen to show up before dessert.

5. Cook What You Know (and Crush)
Listen, now is not the time to attempt Beef Wellington for the first time. Stick with your signature dish—the one you could make in your sleep. Your famous lasagna. Your grandma’s meatballs. That chicken thing your cousin keeps requesting at every gathering.

You’ll feel way more confident, the food will be better, and you won’t have to fake-smile through a kitchen meltdown. Trust me, only your best friend Fran will notice you julienned the carrots. Everyone else cares that dinner is delicious and you’re relaxed enough to hang out.

Let’s Wrap This Up, Host Extraordinaire
So there you have it: Five easy, doable, totally-not-intimidating ways to host a dinner party screaming, “Well! Don’t you have it all together!” (even if you don’t). From a warm welcome to your just-right lighting, it’s the little touches that turn a meal into a memory.

Now go fluff those throw pillows, light a few candles, and get the cheese plate ready. Your guests are about to have the best night ever…and it’s all thanks to you.​

You’re enjoying a family or public gathering when the inevitable happens: A curious person approaches and asks an intrusive question about you, your family, or a mutual acquaintance. How do you respond firmly, but politely? Here are some ideal responses:

"Why do you ask?"
This direct question puts the intrusive questioner on the spot. They may sputter, act indignant—even offended…but they won’t want to tell you why they’re asking. And that works in your favor.

"I don’t discuss that."
Said with a forced and patient smile, it puts a full stop to further questioning. You haven’t qualified the statement, ala “…with casual friends.” Or “…with strangers.” Or “…with anyone outside the family.” Qualifying a statement opens it up to argument. The questioner’s quick response might be, “But I’m not a stranger!” Four strong words simply and effectively ends the discussion attempt.

"I’m afraid that’s private information."
Keep that tolerant smile on your face when you say it, and possibly add a “you understand” nod. Then go silent. If the questioner wants to argue, simply say “Please excuse me,” and walk away.

"I don’t share that information."
Expect some blowback, like “But it’s ME! You know I can keep a secret!” Just repeat the phrase as a mantra. Then excuse yourself and exit.

"That’s not for me to say."
Expect an immediate response of, “Then who can I ask?” Be ready with, “I really can’t tell you.” And you won’t tell them…because you’re walking away with a tolerant smile.

"That’s not my story to tell."
This response is particularly good with gossipers wanting inside information about someone you both know. The question is not about you, so it’s not your story. Expect, “But you know something, right?” Add, “You’ll have to ask them”…neither confirming nor denying what you do or don’t know. Smile politely and move on.

One thing you should NEVER do is raise your voice and demand, “How dare you??” Because the truth is: People dare. People are impertinent—on purpose. People feel they have a right to know. You won’t embarrass these people, but you will embarrass yourself…and you can almost guarantee that exchange will be widely shared.

Do you need to know how to handle other awkward situations at gatherings? Check out the video below.

For as far back as my childhood memory allows, my family’s holiday table had a chair reserved for strangers. They were missionaries, foreign college students, pastors, traveling musicians, and roommates eager to experience a Norman Rockwell moment.

See, I grew up on the Michigan equivalent of Walton’s Mountain—farm families gathering together for food and fun on any occasion. Everyday grandparents. Cousins galore. Board games and ice skating and cookie-making and croquet.

We had a revolving door of guests who jumped right into whatever we had planned for the day. Planting and harvest were the biggest draws, but the holidays with their farm-food buffets and handmade gifts were a close second.

As children, we were fascinated when foreign exchange students from far-off countries like Turkey sat at our Thanksgiving table. (Plus, it was giggly-funny.) A Michigan State student from Yemen joined us for Christmas. Summers brought kids from Japan and Mexico. Strapping teenage German boys joined us one spring.

And what I find most fascinating on reflection of these glory days is how well everyone adapted. Guests tried new foods. We tried new languages. We never talked about politics or religion or anything controversial. We just laughed and ate and played games and enjoyed each other’s company. And really—isn’t that how it should be anyway?
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​This holiday, I encourage you to invite a stranger to your holiday table—a student, a recent transplant, a widow, an immigrant. You might be surprised how many people near you have no holiday plans, but would really like them. And just like that, you could be the difference between a long day of sorrow or joy.